Salon for trans youth provides gender-affirming care
The North County LGBTQ Resource Center partnered with aligned organizations to create ‘a space for trans people by trans people.’
Written by Sam Barney-Gibbs, Edited by Lauren J. Mapp
Melinda Pitula is a mom. She’s a librarian. She’s queer. She’s neurodivergent.
Pitula identifies as many things. But, she said growing up in the 80s and 90s in a religious fundamentalist household made it difficult for her to be open about her identity.
“There were so many things, even to this day, I wouldn't even remotely talk to my mom about,” Pitula said.
She said lacking a more comfortable environment gave her a deep desire to provide that space with her kids now — and that her identity helps her be more empathetic and sympathetic to their needs.
Pitula wants to share her welcoming attitude and friendly face with other young people in San Diego that don’t have the support they may be looking for as queer individuals.
That led her to volunteer with the North County LGBTQ Resource Center in Oceanside, which hosted its annual salon last Saturday, where Pitula greeted attendees of all ages with a warm disposition and a smile.
This year’s Trans Salon provided makeup tips, nail painting and more than 40 haircuts, for 60 participants during the center’s afternoon activities. Community experts in these fields volunteered their skills, scissors, nail polish and makeup brushes to provide gender-affirming care to queer youth.
Claire Williams, the leader of this year’s salon and the center’s Project Youth manager, said last year’s event was called the “Queer Salon” to ensure it was welcoming to all queer folks. This year, though, Williams felt the need to specifically empower transgender people.
“Our trans community is under attack,” Williams said. “The rhetoric is so heavy, especially in schools right now. There's so few spaces for trans people to feel comfortable and confident and safe — and not like an outsider.”
Williams said they felt the need to foster a space where being trans is the norm, unlike in many current public spaces. They wanted to make “a space for trans people by trans people” that boosts their self-confidence, especially for those heading back to school.
Jose Dieguez, a case manager with the center, said the event is tailored to young people and making them feel comfortable in school settings, though people of any age were welcome to take advantage of the services. He said the center’s Gender Advocacy Project is heavily focused on youth engagement.
Youth is the largest demographic that takes part in the center’s programming, though, and Dieguez said he feels it’s his duty to uplift people who will soon be in decision-making positions.
“This is the next generation, and we're starting to see [the] conversation shift,” Dieguez said. “I feel like there's a little bit more acceptance with the newer generation.”
The center partnered with TransFamily Support Services, which donated 50 backpacks full of school supplies, as well as DAP Health, formerly known as the Desert AIDS Project. Williams said this event helps the center deepen its partnerships with these organizations to allow for more streamlined support for trans folks and other marginalized communities.
Williams said many organizations are working through very divisive political struggles, but banding together yields better results for not only the LGBTQ+ community, but also immigrant, Black, Indigenous and other communities that may be looking for extra support now.
“The more that we know what's out there, the more that we work together, the more people we can get connected with the right services that fit them,” Williams said. “It's really about sticking together during these hard times when funding is low.”
The nonprofit lost two staff members after federal funding was pulled by the Trump administration, and Dieguez said if it wasn’t for “angel” donors, he isn’t sure the center would still be afloat.
“But, I feel like as a queer community, we've always been very hearty people,” Dieguez said. “We've found ways to connect and be within community, so I feel like we'll be able to get through this.”
Allyship is crucial to getting through, Dieguez said, and even if people couldn’t give money, volunteering their time and skills to the Trans Salon gave the center what they needed to host the event.
Pitula has been supporting the center for years, having planned the first public Pride programming for Carlsbad City Library in 2023 and volunteering for the center’s Queer Prom this year.
Having worked in both city and federal government, she has seen how difficult it is for nonprofits to actually complete the work they set out to do, and she shared gratitude for the center “really making things happen.”
Her youngest child attends the weekly teen chat group at the center, and as a trans, queer and neurodivergent kid, Pitula said she respects how the center provides a safe space for him to simply be himself and get peer support that he can’t get from her.
But, she said her goals go beyond just wanting to help her own children.
“More people than not don't have the support or the resources,” Pitula said. “I’m not saying I want to be everybody's mom, but I want them to see a friendly face who is open and accepting.”
Dieguez said just one person coming in and getting the care they need — whether it be a haircut, nail care, makeup or clothes — is sufficient to him. Williams was glad to see many happy faces, hoping they left with a smile on their face like the one Pitula greeted them with.
“I'm not expecting them to leave feeling like I've made a huge difference in their life,” Pitula said. “But [I] just treat people how they would want to be treated, and how I would want to be treated if I were them.”
